October 10, 2014
What is communication exactly? And how do you do it effectively? Usually, I go to a dictionary to look for the etymology behind this. Communication, as defined is the 1) imparting or exchanging of information or news 2) means of connection between people or places, in particular. So… what? Being effective in communication is about getting your ideas across.
Through the process of being educated in a “system” such as the public school system, the only way that has been taught to us is the way of competition. In this model, someone is always left behind. I think you get what I mean. For example, previously, I used to wonder how someone else (usually a colleague) was able to get the promotion that I was aiming for. Someone was able to get away with “not doing work” or something similar. And it was so easy to be feel the injustice leveled against me. Have you come across this?
Well, it wasn’t until I learned how to communicate effectively, in a way that took care of my needs that I was able to do and get what I wanted. There is a method to effective communication and it can be learned. Most of us come with what we learned at school, sometimes directly and mostly indirectly. Some of us apply these skills very well and become good at it. Some are good at sales, some at getting the work done, some at fixing the deals, some at inspiring people while some show their communication skills in raising funds. Communicating effectively allows us to assume leadership roles in the areas that we are skilled at.
Here are a few skills and practices that will help your communication to be more effective.
Effective Communication Skills
Congruency
Requests are at the heart of effective communication. If you are a person that is known for committing to and delivering on previously agreed upon requests, then it is likely that requests made by you will get commitments. If however, you fail to honor your commitments to others’ requests, it is likely that your requests won’t be honored as often.
Congruency in actions and words will [What is communication exactly? And how do you do it effectively? Usually, I go to a dictionary to look for the etymology behind this. Communication, as defined is the 1) imparting or exchanging of information or news 2) means of connection between people or places, in particular. So… what? Being effective in communication is about getting your ideas across.
Through the process of being educated in a “system” such as the public school system, the only way that has been taught to us is the way of competition. In this model, someone is always left behind. I think you get what I mean. For example, previously, I used to wonder how someone else (usually a colleague) was able to get the promotion that I was aiming for. Someone was able to get away with “not doing work” or something similar. And it was so easy to be feel the injustice leveled against me. Have you come across this?
Well, it wasn’t until I learned how to communicate effectively, in a way that took care of my needs that I was able to do and get what I wanted. There is a method to effective communication and it can be learned. Most of us come with what we learned at school, sometimes directly and mostly indirectly. Some of us apply these skills very well and become good at it. Some are good at sales, some at getting the work done, some at fixing the deals, some at inspiring people while some show their communication skills in raising funds. Communicating effectively allows us to assume leadership roles in the areas that we are skilled at.
Here are a few skills and practices that will help your communication to be more effective.
Effective Communication Skills
Congruency
Your actions should be congruent with how you make requests. At the workplace and at home, you are only engaging in a series of requests. If you think you can tell anyone what to do, then there is no communication; that kind of relationship exists in other structures such as in the police or military.
Requests are at the heart of effective communication. If you are a person that is known for committing to and delivering on previously agreed upon requests, then it is likely that requests made by you will get commitments. If however, you fail to honor your commitments to others’ requests, it is likely that your requests won’t be honored as often.
Congruency in actions and words will]2 so that communication can flourish.
Allow Time
As with any interaction, your requests that you make of others should be time bound when you ask for any commitments. During that period effective communication thrives on the “silence” that exists; simply ask your colleagues what you want and by when you want it. If the commitment is there, then allow them the honor and privilege of fulfilling your request. Bombarding them with frequent information, status updates etc. will only serve to erode the trust that was built. Simplicity and allowing for the fulfillment of the request in its time the most powerful modes of communication.
If you find that your request wasn’t fulfilled in a satisfactory time period, the responsibility is on you to clarify your request and the conditions that will satisfy you.
Use Your Own Voice
In order to reflect your values, expectations and thoughts in your speech, use the language that is distinctly your own. The so called “corporate-voice” doesn’t need to be adopted just because you may think it more eloquent. Effective communication lies in knowing who your audience is and what language and vocabulary they understand.
Stay Visible
Though you allow time for your request to be fulfilled, it can be helpful to indicate that you are available and visible for clarifications to your request. Developing effective communication skills has a large part in developing leadership qualities. If you are striving to be in leadership roles, this may be very helpful to you to practice.
Listen For the Unspoken
Effective communication is an organic process. Use your skills, observations and assessments when you make requests of others. Knowing who has the capacity and capability to fulfill your requests to your satisfaction will engender trust; effective communication and effective relationships are all built on trust. A good communicator hones the skill of asking good questions, being patient to listen, not just to the verbal answers but to other, more indirect cues.
If you are looking to hone your communication skills, you may wish to consider working with an executive coach. A coach will help you to understand the keys to effective communication and to help generate awareness of the process.