January 5, 2016
Hi and welcome to this video. In this video I want to talk to you a little bit about Ontological Coaching and the meaning and value that it’s given to me. Now prior to training in this Ontological Coaching by Newfield Network, I had spent a lot of time with personal development. I’d done a lot of Franklin Covey- Stephen Covey type of stuff; with Brian Tracy as well. And it was really great actually because I was able to get a lot of things done.
At that time I thought it was about you know getting all those big rocks in order, time management, stress management, priority management, getting a new job, getting more money, getting stuff. Now during the time it was great because I wouldn’t be where I am without all of the external, outside factors that made life meaningful and satisfactory.
But for me, throughout all of that, there was always something missing, something lacking and I actually didn’t understand what it was. And it wasn’t until I came into Ontological Coaching a few years ago and I realized what was! And mind you, it was really obvious! But I didn’t know how to describe it because, until then, I hadn’t had the language for it.
And I want to stress the word “language” because one of the things that Ontological Coaching has brought out is the need for language. Is to use language as a tool to enable the creation of satisfying and meaningful outcomes in all the situations and events that you interact with in daily life.
Ontological Coaching & The Being You Are
So let’s take this back a little bit. Ontology is the study of being. It’s the study of who you are as a human being not who you are as a body, not who you are as Mr. and Mrs. so and so. But you are deep down. Now a lot of us, in fact I would venture to guess all of us, have some sort of framework of belief of the soul.
That might have been given to us by our religious leaders. It could have been given to us by our family. It could have been given to us by our friends, our peers, our coworkers and those that we spend a lot of time with.
Now your cultural heritage, your religious heritage, that is unique because that defines you as a human being you are. That defines you as a visitor to this planet Earth. The perspective that I bring is the perspective Sanātana Dharma, of the Vedic perspective. And this is why I love Ontological Coaching. And this is why I share this kind of coaching and this perspective with my clients because I find it so rich, especially when you can get down to the core of what it makes- what makes you a human being and understand how you fit in and how you interpret all of the situations, events and interactions that you engage with on a daily basis.
Now the key behind all of this is the heart of Ontological Coaching because it goes to show you that unique observer that you are. You have your cultural heritage, you have your religious heritage, you have that framework of belief and that creates that unique observer that you are. From the Vedic perspective this unique observer is the soul that looks out from the eyes. And the soul has accumulated experience several- over several lifetimes.
This current incarnation is allowing this unique observer to add more detail to it. So how does this unique observer, regardless of your cultural or religious background, how does this unique observer that you are create meaning from all the interactions you go through?
You Are A Unique Observer In The World
Well that’s very simple! And this is what Ontological Coaching has taught me is that: that unique observer that you are consists of a body—very simple! Without that body you and I have, we would not be interacting with our friends, we would not be interacting with our family. We would definitely not be talking to our boss, asking for more money, asking for a raise, more responsibility, less responsibility; whatever it is!
That body is so crucial to who we are. That body is needed for that unique observer to interact with all the situations, events and things in life. Along with that body, which is so necessary for that unique observer, are the emotions. The emotions are the way that body experiences those interactions.
If we get into a dangerous situation, if our body is placed in a situation where there’s going to be some sort of imminent danger to that body, the emotion is of fear. And that fear, in that case, in that example is very tangible. For example, if you’re crossing a road and a bus about hit you, that’s a very tangible fear.
Other fears are not as tangible. So let’s talk about another emotion and that it is the emotion of anxiety. That emotion of anxiety is about an intangible situation that may cause harm to your physical body. Or may not. But regardless of that, only your body experiences an emotion.
The Power Of Language
Now the crux of all of this—at leas- at least for me this was the most meaningful part—is the language that was used to describe that emotion, the language that was used to describe that physiological state of the body, is so critical. You see the whole point of all of this, the whole point of Ontological Coaching, is that you and I are unique observers of the world. And not only are we unique observers of the world, we live in a unique interpretation of the world.
We interpret every situation, every event, every physiological change, every emotion our own way. And we are only limited by language. And so the whole premise behind this ontological, at least from my current understanding: as unique observers we have the tool—much like a hammer—we have the tool of language that we can use to interpret everything that we put our body in front of.
We could put our body into a conversation, we could put our body into a situation that may cause danger, we could put our body into a new country, into a new experience. Whatever it is we get to interpret all of those things and derive some sort of meaning, some sort of value, some sort of satisfaction around that.
And to me this is the richness of that unique observer that you are. And from the Vedic perspective this just adds more experience, more value, more meaning so that you can carry it on to the next life, to the next incarnation.
So how do we do that? How do we make use of everything that our body is subjected to? And this is where understanding language, understanding intellectually and breaking each of our conversations into the constituent speech acts.
Clarity Through The Speech Acts
Now there are six speech acts and I go into more detail in other videos, but for now the speech acts are the speech acts of: requests, offers, promises, assertions, assessments and declarations.
The key to deriving satisfaction and value from your life, adding value, adding meaning, adding satisfaction to your life involves understanding and choosing which of the speech acts you want to engage in.
You see, most of us we may think that we engage in life verbally; that most of our interactions are verbal! But I invite you to consider that there is a nonverbal loop that goes on in your head over and over and over again. It doesn’t stop chattering. It doesn’t stop yammering and that is what drives most of our interpretations! That’s what drives most of our intact interactions with the world.
And so one of the skills that I teach with my clients is to stop, is to notice what you’re saying up here and what you’re saying down here. And whether those two are connected or how congruent they are with each other. Now when I was doing Ontological Coaching way back in the beginning, the divergence of what I was singing my head and what I was speaking was broad; there was a big gap!
Through practise I was able to narrow the gap down so that the things I spoke were more in line with things that were going on up here. And that is, for me, the magic of Ontological Coaching is it allows you to take a moment or several moments to notice to make use of language as a tool so that you can get to the heart of that unique observer that you are.
And once again this goes much deeper than the stuff we surround ourselves with—at least for me! It goes much deeper than all of the material artifacts that I have: my car, my house, my friends, my family. And it goes way deep into who I am as a human being. And it goes as deep as that soul that I am, that unique observer that I am, and the way that I show up in life. The way that I show up in interactions. The way that I show up on video. The way that I show up in life.
An Invitation For You
And this is the invitation I leave you with.
- What kind of observer are you?
- How does your framework influence the way you interpret life around you?
- How has that been meaningful for you?
- And how satisfying is that for you right now?
I hope that has been helpful for you and if you do have any questions or comments please share them below and I’ll get to them as soon as I can.
So take care of yourself, have a beautiful day and I’ll see you in the next video.
Bye-bye for now!